Manakah teman-temanku?
Yang sama berjuang dahulu
Hilang sudah
Kebendaan menggelapkan
Lupa dengan perjuangan
Lupa sudah
Manakah semangat dulu?
Atau hanya helahmu?
Hanya palsu
Siapa?!
Siapa orang kita?
Mana?!
Mana orang kita?
Hela! Hela!
Nafasku hela
Kita harus bertemu
Buat rencana baru
Kita satu
M. Nasir wrote “Siapa Orang Kita” in 1985.
Mother was tired and not feeling very well after her trip with father to Kuala Kangsar. She was in her sweater and lying on the couch when I last checked in. So, I decided to go out and find us some food for lunch.
When I got back, there was this peculiar stench coming from the kitchen. Mother and father was at the bar table eating something. They were clearly enjoying themselves. Mother saw me and said, “Do join us. After all, these are all your Bombay ducks”.
I just stood there for a few seconds, thinking. I remembered now. I bought them. I bought them for someone actually. And I gave half to mother. I forgot about them, never even tasted them after I bought them. Now, because of all the memories are coming back into my thick skull, I felt like I’m about to burst into tears. But obviously I didn’t.
I sat down and join my parents.
And it’s actually fish.
It really is! Nevermind the altered wiki link!
“It’s an obvious lie!”, I shouted to Asril.
*****
He’s living some kind of a good life down south. A lawyer who spends most of his courtroom moments handling rape cases. A subject matter he pretty much enjoys. He’s close with the Johore police force, apparently because of the nature of his job. And since the Johore police force is closely connected with the local gangsters, he can have pretty much anything. Well, not that much, but mostly things that doesn’t come easy for commoners like me at least. Pirated DVD sellers offer him free pirated DVDs if he walks through the alleys along Wong Ah Fook Road at nights. Yeah, girls too but I’m not going into that. Once in a while some police guys would reserve an entire restaurant to treat him dinner. You know, stuff like that. No wonder he’s getting fatter and fatter every time I see him. Hati senang!
Recently however…
*****
“You don’t need that! It’s just psychological. Without it you’d still be good at what you do. It’s not like you’d become deprived or unsuccessful without it. Now that you have it inside you, look how miserable you are. You came and see me with all these unnecessary emotional baggage and you want me to listen? Do me a favour. Please throw it away. Throw it away. Love for a woman? Just throw it into the trash. It’s an obvious lie!”
Asril made his way back, down south.
He repeatedly asked me whether she was ok for him. The type of question that I knew he needed no answers, a question he asked for the sake of asking. The exhilaration and all, obviously normal for those currently with somewhat content heart. The pleasure of sharing blissful personal matters with someone they thought they were close with.
Ah, those two lovebirds. Flying together across the bright and peaceful sky, like there will be no thunder and rain. “When we get married, do come to our wedding”, he exclaimed, by chance suddenly one day. “What kind of a question is that? Of course I will!”, I responded, masking the loathe with a perfectly crafted smile.
Alas, rain and thunder were bound to arrive. They had no shelter, not even a branch on a shaded tree. Thus their plans for a holy matrimony dissolved like a sandcastle beaten by a soft wave. And the beach was again, flat.
“I’m sorry for you”, I uttered, physically reaching out my hands for a friend in need.
For deep inside my dark heart, a voice whispered, “If I can’t get her, then nobody will”
Then there was a smirk, somewhere.
Now I realized why, since 2001 I’ve been searching like crazy for the mediocre, second-rate, lame, pop-corn, chick flick. While I didn’t managed any positive outcome of getting hold of the film, it was screened on national television recently. The 7 years hunt was just to further justify that men are not bulls and crazy women are not old cows. Aah! No wonder.
He didn’t really care much about his job. He did what he had to do and gets paid every month’s end. As long as he doesn’t piss off any supreme asses, he thought he was ok.
What’s more important to him was the obligation of favours befell upon him by his own personal endeavors. Favours from people he favours so much. He was in his own world where sweetness and nice was his evil alter ego.
His friends warned him not to get too obsessed. They even reminded him about his past experience, the experience that he had totally forgotten, intentionally. Alas, his obsession had made his skull so thick that he became deaf to all beneficial urges.
A few months went by and he somehow felt lethargic. He pretended as if he didn’t know why. Truth was, his soul has been eaten slowly by his own affectionate fixation.
As his soul decayed months later, suddenly there was a slap on his face. A slap by his own conscience, dressed in a holy white robe with a face similar like his, only 3 inches tall. The slap made him sat down on the angry chair all day long, looking into oblivion.
Now, he knew he needed to rest.
In peace.
“It was Jill!”
“It was Jill!”
“It was Jill!”
The folks in town did utter. But they weren’t there. They weren’t there. Still they said that Jill pushed Jack down the hill. Jill got the whipping for causing Jack’s disaster but neither Jill nor Jack gave the folks answers. For their souls tremble when reminiscing the well on top of the hill. Ah, the well. The old well and the thing living inside it.
Hated to love, I was concerned
About living life and getting burned
A repeat performance going on in my life
Hated to love but still I’d yearn
And I’ve returned to relearn
How to live a life worth living
Thanks to Ray Cappo
According to Shamsul Amri Baharuddin in December 1993 edition of Dewan Masyarakat, there’s no country in this world that doesn’t have their own group of intellectual bureaucrats. He also said that intellectual bureaucrats are discreetly the driving force of a country’s development, covering everything from internal and foreign policies, macro and microeconomics to the reformation of the judiciary system [sic] in some cases.
Who are actually these intellectual bureaucrats anyway? Most of them are academicians or professionals that excel in their relative fields. They are then absorbed into the ruling administration either by appointing them as senators in parliament, spearheading government-linked companies, fore fronting the mass media, becoming ambassadors, or maybe becoming members of significant bodies and commissions. They are the think tanks of the government. In a way, they provide the old and incompetent politicians some relevant things to say and do.
Zaid Ibrahim, I think was an intellectual bureaucrat by Malaysian (my?) standards. He was an attorney at law with the largest law firm in this country, Zaid Ibrahim & Co. He was a permanent legal consultant for Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) and a columnist for some DBP’s publications since the early 1990s.
Since his appointment as law minister in March 2008, three major recommendations have been made by Zaid within his capacity urging the government to improve the judiciary system.
• Apology and restitution for the judges sacked or suspended in the 1988 judicial crisis. There was no apology from the Government but it awarded ex-gratia payments to the judges involved;
• Setting up a Judicial Appointments Commission. Although it was announced by Abdullah at a public dinner in April, the proposal has been delayed following objections from certain Cabinet members; and
• Restoration of Article 121(1A) of the Federal Constitution relating to civil and syariah jurisdiction to its original wording. It was rejected because of objections from some Cabinet members and the Attorney General’s Chambers, although the Chief Justice said the judiciary was in favour.
None of the recommendations were taken seriously. The ex-gratia payments were just cosmetics to shut the mouths of certain parties regarding the prolonged judicial crisis.
As an intellectual bureaucrat, Zaid should stand firm with his stand and principles rather than being a lalang like most Malaysian orthodox politicians. This was proven recently when Raja Petra, Teresa Kok and Tan Hoon Cheng were detained under the ISA. Because the government wasn’t taking steps to improve the judiciary, the ISA incident triggered Zaid to resign.
Like Nuraina A. Samad said, which I can’t agree more, you can say what you like about Zaid. You can doubt, be suspicious of his action. Is there a hidden agenda? You may ask. Well, he spoke up, he protested and he quit in protest. Do you see anyone else willing to do the same? He may not be the first (nor the last) to speak up against the abuse of the ISA, but he sure is the only minister to have quit in protest against the use and abuse of the ISA. For that, Zaid, you’re the man. Man of the hour, at least for now.
*Prof Dr Shamsul Amri Baharuddin is a professor of social anthropology and, formerly, Director [1999-2007], the Institute of the Malay World & Civilization (ATMA), and Founding Director [Oct.2003 - Jan. 2007), Institute of Occidental Studies (IKON), and, currently, Founding Director [since Oct. 2007],- Institute of Ethnic Studies (KITA), Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, (UKM). He is known among Malaysian academia and political pundits as a man who speaks his mind. Not one to mince his words, he is acknowledged as an Occidentalist par excellence among international circles.
*Henry Kissinger was the National Security Advisor and later the Secretary of State during the Nixon and Ford administration. He played a prominent role in the United States foreign policies between 1969 and 1977.
