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Sailam recently became a father for the first time. And like most young, married, Malay, male, it was his time to become a bachelor again, temporarily (he still needs to comply with Nini’s routine checks). Baby Maia was with her grandparents.


That particular Saturday started rather grimly. I was planning on waking up early to do some gardening in the morning. But I woke up in total darkness. My soft and perfectly springy mattress became hard and stiff. It was when my head bumped into a piece of wood that I realized that my head was underneath the bed and my body laid nastily on the parquet floor. What kind of sick and fucked up nightmare did I go through last night? I asked myself. There was no answer for my redundant pondering.

Rain was pouring heavily as if the Klang Gate dam broke just 2 feet above my house. It was already 11 am when I finally could stand stable on my two feet, head spinning as an effect from sleep-drunkenness. I blame the rain. Yes, I always blame everything else but myself.

Cut to later, it was 4 pm and I was heading to Sailam’s house in Sunway Damansara. Azam was already there waiting at the parking lot. Sailam’s in his car. “Go park and get in this car!”, Azam shouted. What? No lazing on the couch, drinking Coke and watching The Biggest Loser first? Ah, damn, I was still groggy.

Sailam drove us to Dataran Sunway, to one particular row of the shop lots. We then climbed up a staircase that leads us to “K2 Snooker Centre”. But the thing was, the patrons didn’t really play snooker. They all entered a secret trapdoor behind the cue rack. We did so too and behind the mock wall was a room filled with slot machines. “Kuda!”. Now I know Sailam and Azam’s intentions.

Again, cut to later, I was in Sailam’s house and finally got the chance to laze on his Lorenzo leather couch watching Discovery channel, where a male panda was forced to mate an ugly female panda. Azam had to call it a day, he got a call from his wife telling him to come back home. After Maghrib, Sailam and I went to Damansara Uptown.

Long after dinner we went to a dodgy premise above KK Mart in SS2. I soon lost track of time but I think I can remember afterwards that we poke fun and screamed at the patrons of the over-rated, over-hyped Murni SS2. My god, we were assholes that night.

Funny, I can’t remember much after that but I remember listening to some soft music, played by some Filipinos in some lounge. Or maybe we went to Atria area first or did we eat durians before that? Anyway, cut to later again, we were back in Sailam’s place. Before I could start my pace to my car, Sailam said, “Sleep here, go back home after breakfast tomorrow. There’s no one else here.” Sure.

It was 3 am. Sailam was already fast asleep in his room. I was in the guest room, a room with a queen size bed filled with throw pillows on top. After Isya’ prayers I stripped down to my boxers, locked the door, threw away the throw pillows to the floor, shut the lights off and made myself comfortable underneath a fluffy blanket.

Suddenly, there was heavy breathing by my side, right beside my right ear. I can feel warm presence beside me, although I was actually shivering. Ah, come on! Not now! I can’t move my body. I was not pressed by that “thing” but still I could not move my body and the worst thing was, I could not sleep. I tried hard to close my eyes and to just doze off but failed, terribly.

Hours went by. All I could do was flicking my tired eyelids while my tired body froze, restless. I remember managing to get my body sideways, but immediately, I felt the “thing” spooning me. Fuck!

At exactly 6:30 am, it went away, just like that. I felt like I was used. I’m like a whore! A bitch whore!


After breakfast I frowned at Sailam and said, “You tricked me into sleeping in your fucking guest room! You knew something was wrong with the room didn’t you?”. My eyebags were clearly showing, like small balloons underneath my eyes, filled with water.

Sailam calmly replied, “Siapa suruh tak baca doa sebelum tidur?”