One night, I slowly parked my car inside the porch after a long day at work. I had trouble closing the automatic gate with the remote control. Automatic gates sucks, but somehow I managed to stay calm and close it up. I got out from the car and switched on the porch lights. I didn’t use the front door to get inside simply because I don’t have the front keys. I never had the front keys. So I walked around to get to the rear entrance. That particular night was particularly darker than usual.

*****

It has been several nights that I’ve been hearing footsteps on the roof on top of my bedroom. And for several nights now, I hadn’t been able to sleep soundly at night. The footstep noises sounded like a small creature tap dancing above my bedroom. I’m pretty sure it was not a cat since the only cat around was Crooked-Tail who was too old and lazy to be climbing, and dancing on the roof. It couldn’t be the squirrels since they are light footed.

*****

As I was walking apathetically beside the outer walls of my bedroom, I saw a tail hanging down from the TNB pole just fifteen feet away from my bedroom. The cables from the concrete pole connected directly to the vertex area of my bedroom’s outer wall. Yes, there’s a functional TNB pole inside the compound of my house and yet I’ve never seen any compensation cheques from that power service provider company. Anyway, the tail was swinging slowly, oscillating like a broken pendulum of an old clock. The tail was slightly fluffier than a monkey’s tail.

I soon realized that that creature was the one making the rackets at night. It was a fucking musang! I could feel that the musang was staring at me, enjoying the moment of triumph. It was enjoying itself to the fact that it had annoyed me for quite a while now.

I paused. Slowly got down and picked up a rock the size of a bar of soap. I waited patiently. I concentrated at my target and then threw the rock towards the flamboyant musang. The rock hit directly at the tip of the concrete TNB pole with a loud “Pang!”. The musang jumped and screeched angrily. It fell from the pole but managed to catch a branch of a rambutan tree nearby. It then ran away into the darkness of the night. For me, I felt really awesome.

That night, no more tap dancing above me.

*****

The next morning, after a good night sleep, I was prepared to go to work. The feeling of awesomeness from last night was still there. Unfortunately that feeling was cut short. The joke was on me that morning. I was shocked to the bones when I arrived at my car. There were animal scats all over the hood of my car. Taik musang!

And the joke didn’t stop there. Although there’re no more noises in the night, for the next seven days, I started my day by clearing scats from the hood of my car. Taik musang doh! The musang shat on my car, without fail for seven days!

Eventually I had enough. On the night of the seventh day of scat, I went to the TNB pole. Although there was no sign of the musang, I said, “I’m sorry for throwing the rock at you. I truly am. Please don’t shit on my car anymore. I beg you please”.






From then on, the shitting stopped.

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