It’s been more than a year now that I realized I was stuck beneath a hard shell that totally suppressed the functions of my right brain. No, not literally. That was supposed to be an excuse for me for not writing in this blog for more than a year. But to be honest, this shell has a strong South Indian odor to it. Seriously, how can a person be creative under the putrid armpits of a midget Chennaite? Fuck it. It’s my justification and I felt justified.

 

*****

 

It’s close to 3:00 am. Two burglars were lying on their chests, waiting patiently in a sturdy rectangular ventilation duct of an office building. Beneath them was a small office area, supposedly the office of the CEO of an SME (shmucks read; Small / Medium Enterprise) company. Allegedly, the company was linked closely with several government personnel and was allegedly implicated in several shady businesses involving alleged public funds.

On one side of the office wall, there was an imitation of Marc Chagall’s “I and the Village”, hanging perfectly at the centre. The painting was supposed to remind the CEO of his origins before he was a successful commissions entrepreneur. Since he had no tertiary education whatsoever, the key to his success was initiated by obsequiously flattering one of the ruling party’s division’s chief of a state in the northern peninsular. That was 15 years ago. Imagine how many obsequious flattering needed to be done to be at his current place now! Still, nobody knows if the CEO still felt reminded of his origins or not.

(an SME company with Marc Chagall in its office? Imitation or not, get real!!!)

Anyway, like in many heist movies, the painting was actually a trapdoor to a combination safe built inside the office wall. It was a cheap combination safe; therefore, anybody who is determined enough can crack it with the intensive help from the Internet. Since the two burglars were also active employees of the company, they knew that the CEO had deposited RM50,000.00 in the safe before he left the office that previous day. They also knew that at exactly 3:00 am, there will be a security roll-call at the ground floor. That will give the burglars approximately 15 minutes to crack the safe and steal RM50,000.00 before escaping using the same route they came in. As simple as that.

Their synchronized Casio F91W watches signaled 3:00 am sharp. The first burglar carefully removed the railing cover and softly put it aside. He then positioned himself leg first through the hole in the office ceiling. Before he could get down, the second burglar tapped the first burglar’s shoulder and whispered, “What will you do with your RM25,000?”

Like that was the most suitable time for such question! The first burglar frowned but answered honestly in a returned whisper, “I’m gonna finish off my PTPTN debt!”

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