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“It’s an obvious lie!”, I shouted to Asril.


He’s living some kind of a good life down south. A lawyer who spends most of his courtroom moments handling rape cases. A subject matter he pretty much enjoys. He’s close with the Johore police force, apparently because of the nature of his job. And since the Johore police force is closely connected with the local gangsters, he can have pretty much anything. Well, not that much, but mostly things that doesn’t come easy for commoners like me at least. Pirated DVD sellers offer him free pirated DVDs if he walks through the alleys along Wong Ah Fook Road at nights. Yeah, girls too but I’m not going into that. Once in a while some police guys would reserve an entire restaurant to treat him dinner. You know, stuff like that. No wonder he’s getting fatter and fatter every time I see him. Hati senang!

Recently however…


“You don’t need that! It’s just psychological. Without it you’d still be good at what you do. It’s not like you’d become deprived or unsuccessful without it. Now that you have it inside you, look how miserable you are. You came and see me with all these unnecessary emotional baggage and you want me to listen? Do me a favour. Please throw it away. Throw it away. Love for a woman? Just throw it into the trash. It’s an obvious lie!”

Asril made his way back, down south.

He repeatedly asked me whether she was ok for him. The type of question that I knew he needed no answers, a question he asked for the sake of asking. The exhilaration and all, obviously normal for those currently with somewhat content heart. The pleasure of sharing blissful personal matters with someone they thought they were close with.

Ah, those two lovebirds. Flying together across the bright and peaceful sky, like there will be no thunder and rain. “When we get married, do come to our wedding”, he exclaimed, by chance suddenly one day. “What kind of a question is that? Of course I will!”, I responded, masking the loathe with a perfectly crafted smile.

Alas, rain and thunder were bound to arrive. They had no shelter, not even a branch on a shaded tree. Thus their plans for a holy matrimony dissolved like a sandcastle beaten by a soft wave. And the beach was again, flat.

“I’m sorry for you”, I uttered, physically reaching out my hands for a friend in need.

For deep inside my dark heart, a voice whispered, “If I can’t get her, then nobody will”

Then there was a smirk, somewhere.